To: My One and Only

To: My one and only,

Where do I begin? Thank you for constantly believing in me, for always being there when I needed you most or when I simply wanted you near. Thank you for encouraging me to dream big, even when I didn’t believe big things were ahead for me. Thank you for loving me at my worst, my best, and my moments in-between. Who you are and what you’ve done are all I’ll ever want. I’m madly, wildly, and incandescently in love with you. I will always be yours forever. 

xoxo 

Kaytee 

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“The One.” I grew up with this mindset of believing that someday, somewhere, the one would come and sweep me off my feet. That it would be love at first sight. That it would be my very own real life fairytale. I dreamt of who my prince in shining armor would be, or really of where my singer boyfriend in the far, far off land of Hollywood was. I grew up looking for love and acceptance in all places and it was… fun! But it was never, filling? Because every guy wasn’t it. He wasn’t the one I had spent so many nights dreaming about.

{& then...  on the night of June 2, 2009, I, Kaytee Mitchell, fell in love. I met someone by the name of – Jesus. And everything has changed since.}

It was filled with many “just so happened” moments and a lot more divine orchestration than I knew, but it was the love I had dreamt of and so much more. After fifteen years of wishes and wanderings, I found my one and only, or really, he found me. He was so good, so beautiful, and so… real. I never fell so fast. In Matthew 19:17 it reads, “There is only One who is good,” and this was just the beginning of seeing his goodness begin to pursue me in an entirely new way for the rest of my days to come. & to my surprise, this day wasn’t the beginning of his pursuit, because this day wasn’t by accident, it was planned and purposed by a Prince who had patiently been waiting for me to come to Him and accept Him into my heart. Even though, way before that moment, He had been protecting me in the wilderness, providing for me in the deserts, and taking care of the details of my life quite intricately and delicately every step of the way.

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The wonderful thing about life is that we can find beauty in all places at all times. The secret thing about life is that Jesus’ design is behind it all — because He is good. We find beauty in the horribly embarrassing laughter shared with our friends, (speaking for myself, of course). We find beauty in the sunrises and sunsets, in the waves of the ocean, or in the mystery of the forest. We find beauty in the way a mother and a father care for their daughter and son, or the way someone helps the elderly with their groceries, or when a gentleman opens the door for a stranger. Beauty is everywhere all the time, even in the midst of the war that can so quickly begin in our hearts or may even be happening in our lives. It’s in the middle of my wars that I actually see Jesus the most, though. Not in a miraculous way, but in the tiny, minute details that I know I prayed for and He answered. For He pursues me as vigilantly and wildly now as He did before. Yet here’s the twist, we can so easily put all this pressure of a perfect partner on a person who isn’t Jesus… and that’s going to be incredibly hard for them to live up to. Because well, there is only One who is good.

My belief is that who we marry will never satisfy our hearts in the way Jesus can. Because the truth is, who we marry isn’t supposed to take the place of Jesus… They’re supposed to lead us closer to Him. To be Jesus to someone is a lot of pressure and sets us up for failure and disappointment should be expected. And it is the same way when we place these perfect expectations on a human whom we love deeply. But! On the other hand, we can fall in love with someone who will lead us to Jesus, and that makes all the difference, for it expresses, “Hey, I love you so much. Let’s keep Jesus at the center, so when we do fall, grace will always catch us and keep us together.” For there is such a precious beauty in being led. ❤

Some of us have been waiting for “the one” for so long… When the only One who is good has been waiting for us. We have been placing expectations on people that they couldn’t live up to and setting standards on our lives that we could never reach alone. It is good to dream big and to go after what is in your heart, but to dream big means… you need the One who is BIG enough to make those wishes come true to even come close to seeing them explode before your very eyes. Jesus is as real as your dreams, and His pursuit of your heart will always be greater than the expectations you place on Him. It’s not too much for Him to carry; He is God after all. & yet, we so quickly run from him when we are disappointed, which in fact, is the opposite of what we should be doing. But somewhere in between the dreaming and the disappointments, fear places false accusations in your heart that the hopes in your heart aren’t worthy for you to touch, that you’re no one, and that your dreams are for nothing. This so quickly makes us run from a God who loves us so much more than we could imagine. He found you at your worst; you don’t have to run and put on your best in fear that He will love you any less if He saw the real things going on in your heart. He doesn’t take His hand from yours when you’re disappointed in Him for not seeing your life play out the way you hoped it would. He reaches out his hand and squeezes yours letting you know He is still there and knows {the greater} that is coming. He embraces you, and He loves you as you are, where you are.

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Do I still believe I have someone out there that I’m going to fall madly in love with? YES! Oh my goodness, yes! Romance has been my favorite movie genre since the age of five. But, what I also know, and need to remember, is that when my heart is empty and desperate for love, it is Jesus I am actually searching for. For there is only One who is good, and only one who can fulfill my unmet expectations. It doesn’t mean that every other person is bad; it just reminds us that they aren’t perfect – they aren’t Him! & behind every moment of uncontrollable laughter, silly smiles, and beautiful sights, is every bit of Jesus’ goodness showing His love for us. And when I do meet my one day, I will love him for who he is, and not who he is not. For he may not be perfect, but he doesn’t need to be, because I already have the One who is perfect. But I know that I know, he will be everything I’ve asked for and more, and Jesus’ design will be behind it all. When I meet my prince, I will see the faithfulness of His love over every tiny, minute detail of it. & I will fall in love all over again with my One and only for He is, and always will be, the definition of good.